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Follow Chris, Project 1.27's Executive Director, and his wife Sarah as they adopt a child from foster care, too!
October 6, 2007
Dear Friends of Project 1.27,
About a month ago Jalaya came into our room in the middle of the night. She couldn’t tell me what was wrong, so I lifted up the covers for her to crawl into bed with us and snuggle for awhile. Soon she was sleeping soundly. After a half-an-hour or so, I tucked her back into her bed and kissed her good night. This has quickly become a habit where she does it almost every night, or very early in the morning. I haven’t minded as it’s been a neat bonding-thing to have her come to me for this special, intimate time.
One school morning it was almost time to get up anyway, so we lay chatting and I started tickling her. She laughed loudly – until Daddy said to keep it down! We gave each other “the king has spoken” look, and then laughed again.
“You’re my BESTEST Mommy, Mommy!” Jalaya declared.
“You’re MY bestest Jalaya, Jalaya!” I kissed her on the nose.
She suddenly grew serious. “Mommy, I wish I was with you when I was a baby.”
“Me, too,” I nodded, “I would have held you…and tickled you…and fed you a bottle…and rocked you. [dramatic pause] And changed your poopy diaper! E-uuuuuuuuuuuuuw!”
Jalaya giggled. But the moment was short-lived.
“But you didn’t know about me, and I had to move from one family to one family to one family...” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And I was very sad…”
The honesty of her pain was heartbreaking. “I bet you were, Jalaya.” I said. “If I had known you were so sad, I would have come and got you right away! But I didn’t know…”
“But now you know, right?”
“Yes, and when God told me to come get you I came as fast as I could!”
“Yup. And then you got me at Christmas.”
“That’s right. You were my Christmas present! And now you never have to move again!”
“So next Christmas I can’t wait to see what MY presents are!” she proclaimed.
Christmas is coming up fast – or so the retailers would have us think. But between now and Christmas is a new school year…and if you have read my previous posts, you know that school has been an issue since Jalaya moved home. I am pleased to report that I am not home schooling! (See “Part 7” of my posts for clarity.) Jalaya started school this fall with her siblings in a little Christian school where 1st and 2nd grade are in the same room. Jalaya is re-doing first grade because, as I told her, “Last year you were very worried and stressed and you couldn’t learn everything you needed to know for first grade. If I had been moving into a new family and kept switching schools like you had to do, I wouldn’t have been able to learn, either. So you did nothing wrong. We are just getting a free ‘do over’ for first grade.” And she’s doing fantastic! She is bringing home A’s and B’s and she is so proud! We are amazed at how her teacher quickly got the knack of her needs and truly cares for her. Jalaya is thriving in this “normal” environment, and I haven’t been called to intervene even once this year. The only remaining piece of “family integration” has been accomplished. It’s a miracle!
Since Jalaya’s adoption finalization back in June, she has turned a corner. My hands are completely healed up – I haven’t been scratched or bit or kicked in months. She got her bedroom door put back on in August – that was a big day! She actually goes to time out when told to do so, and has much better tools to calm herself down when she gets upset. We’re down from 3 meds to 1. In a recent dream, she and her friend defended me against a bad guy trying to hurt me…
You know, I think she finally believes it. She really believes this is where she belongs. God is healing her heart. I’m not saying she’s a breeze; there are still many difficult moments every day. But I am reminded of when I was once telling someone about us adopting an older child, and she said, “You know, they say if you don’t get a child before they are two, they are ruined. You pretty much can’t help them after that.” “They” are dead wrong. God does not give up on us when we are two, or ten, or thirty, or seventy-three. He has allowed me to see Jalaya through His eyes. This precious girl has value because she is a child of God. And she has so much potential it makes my head spin sometimes. I am amazed that God chose me to have the honor to be her Mommy! In 9 short months, she has gone from “ruined” to running.
Recently during an early-morning snuggle, I said, “JJ, I have something very special to tell you.”
“What?” she turned over and looked at me curiously.
“Do you know how long a baby is in her birthmom’s tummy?”
“Ut-uh.”
“9 months. That is a very long time. And you know what? You have been home now for over nine months. And that is a very long time.”
She nodded, waiting.
“So, now that it’s been 9 months, it’s like you are my very own, real baby now. Isn’t that – “
She cut me off as she threw her arms around my neck and wrapped her legs around my body. We squeezed each other tight for a long time.
Then she lay on the pillow beside me and looked deep into my heart. Stroking my face and hair, she sighed, “I love you, Mommy,”
“I love you too, sweetheart. I’m so glad I found my baby.” She wiped the tear from my cheek.
Jalaya was soon breathing deeply, a wisp of a smile on her sleeping face.
O my, Lord, what I would have missed!
Praise be to you, LORD. My soul rejoices at Your kindness.
Your goodness and mercy I will seek every day. There is no one like You.
You set the lonely in families.
You have set the lonely in my family, and she is content.
In Awe,
Sarah Padbury
Read other parts of the Padbury's adoption story |
