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Follow Chris, Project 1.27's Executive Director, and his wife Sarah as they adopt a child from foster care, too!
Part 9 (June 25, 2007)
Dear Friends of Project 1.27,
On Friday the kids and I went to pick up Jalaya from camp. The campers and counselors did a little singing program demonstrating the songs they had learned that week. They were songs about God’s love, belonging to Him, and hope for the future. When JJ saw us in the audience, she squealed and cried out, “Mommy! Mommy!” I stood up and waved enthusiastically despite the odd looks my direction. Who cares about the praise of men when you have the voice of your child ringing in your ears?
When you are a multi-racial family, you have to get used to that – second glances. Funny looks. Odd questions. If I had a quarter for every time I’ve been asked, “Are those your kids?” or “Do you have any room in your daycare?” I’d be rich.
When I talk with people who are considering adopting transracially, I sometimes here something like, “I can love a child of any color because God does – He’s colorblind.” Although I agree God loves children of every color, I don’t believe it’s because He is colorblind. God made the colors! To do this “well,” I think you have to make a decision: not to be colorblind, but to be color-ful.
We have African American, Asian, biracial and Caucasian people in our immediate family. That’s a lot of different heritages to embrace. Though we can always do more to incorporate our kids’ varying ethnicities, here are a few decisions that have proven to be very helpful in normalizing our children’s lives:
- Where We Live and Play: We decided long ago that we did not want our kids growing up in a place where they were the only children around with varying melatonin. Chris and I have settled our family into a multiracial neighborhood where we have neighbors of Asian, Hispanic, African and European descent right in our cul-de-sac. My kids have learned how to count to ten in Vietnamese and practice their Spanish. They play daily and go to school with kids of diverse ethnicity. We reach out to those parents, as well.
- Visible Professionals of Varying Race: We have a Cherokee dentist; a Hispanic barber and soccer coach; an African American gymnastics coach, Sunday school teachers, and Locktician; a Caucasian pediatrician, babysitter and school bus driver. My dad’s business partner is Chinese. If you ask my kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” They know from experience it has nothing to do with their skin color – the sky’s the limit!
- Friends with Families Like Ours: Many of our friends have adopted. We make efforts to include those families in our lives, post their pictures on the ‘fridge, and openly celebrate adoption. We also strive to have relationships with families that aren’t just Caucasian. It’s not just the kids who need these relationships – but us. We all learn more cultural education through relationship than any book could teach us.
- Where We Worship: Our church has African American, biracial, Caucasian, and Hispanic pastors. There are people of many colors worshiping together – and we fit in. Not only is being a multi-racial family normal here, but the church body embraces adoption. If all the adopted children were pulled out of Sunday school, some classrooms would be mighty empty!
- Engaging Our Extended Family: We have openly discussed our family’s “make up” with our parents and other family members. We desire that they will embrace our children, be willing to go to trainings and read books, and celebrate our unique family. Each person has traveled his own journey on the topic. Our extended family is very supportive and helpful. It is a huge blessing.
- Our Home: We have artwork from China, Africa, American oils and European impressionists. Our children’s books are similarly varied, though I believe we need to do more. We talk about adoption around the dinner table, in the car, during snuggle time at night. And most importantly, we teach our kids how we have been adopted by God – our Great Example.
These are just a few ideas. My kids may not appreciate decisions like this until they are grown. But I hope one day they will take note that we were not colorblind. The time to discuss these things is early on in your adoptive decision making – don’t wait until you’ve finalized your adoption to realize you might need to deal with how your family “looks” to the world.
Speaking of finalizing adoptions, we finalize Jalaya’s adoption THIS WEEK! On Thursday morning bright and early we will be standing before a judge with our friends and family, being asked if we will care for JJ – permanently. JJ is so excited. Every day these last two weeks she tracks our progress on the calendar. She’s got a beautiful lacy, white dress picked out for her ceremony – like a wedding dress. A perfect choice.
When Jalaya was riding her bike the other day, I called out as she rode by, “I love you!”
“I love you, too!” she yelled over her shoulder.
The next time around the cul-de-sac, she suddenly stopped.
“Hey, Mom, did you know God loves me?” Her eyes gleamed.
“Yes I did! He loves you even more than me! Isn’t that great?”
“Yup. He loves me all the time!”
“Yes, He sure does!”
Red and Yellow, Black and White
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world!
With Anticipation,
Sarah Padbury
Read other parts of the Padbury's adoption story |
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